More and more Filipino women are following the ideas of Liberalism and Feminism. Sex is no longer exclusive to marriage life and premarital sex has become the norm among modern day lovers. With the freedom to engage in this, there’s a growing number of Filipino women who now find themselves in single parenthood. This of course does not prohibit them from reemerging in the dating world to find another suitable partner. For single men who are interested in dating a single mother, things can be quite challenging. Here are some difficulties men face in dating single moms:
- You’ll never be #1
- You’re forced to play along
- You can’t have fun the way you want
- Awkward to introduce to family and friends
- Awkward to be introduced to her ex partner aka father of her child
- You’re forced to turn a blind eye on things you find out about her
- You’re just a guardian, never the father
- You can’t discipline her child
1.) You’ll never be “#1”
This is a sad reality. You wont be her priority, you’re just number “#2” in her life. A mother’s priority will always be her child, which means there are sacrifices you’ll have to do not just for her but also for the child just to get yourself in her life. You’ll have to have a lot of patience and set aside your frustrations.
2.) You’re forced to play along
You might end up pretending to be interested with her child even though you’re really not just to impress her. You’ll try to act as if you’re great with kids, but pretending will just lead you to a life of lies and hypocrisy. Eventually, you’ll have to be good in faking a cheerful attitude in front of the child.
3.) You can’t have fun the way you want
No more “painting the town red”. No more late night dating. No more all nighter telebabad. She has to wake up in the morning to take car of her child and prepare for work. Some of your needs and wants will be an inconvenience to her.
4.) Awkward to introduce to family and friends
Family approval is still important to us Filipinos. We want to make sure our partner and our family are comfortable with each other. Of course your family only wants the best for you so they’ll be having plenty of disagreements with you. You’ll be challenged to convince them that this is what you want. You’ll also be challenged to convince your partner that she’ll soon be accepted by your family.
5.) Awkward to be introduced to her Ex partner, aka the father of her child
In some cases, the biological father of her child won’t be out of the picture. Meaning, the real father will still exert his right to visit their child every now and then. You’ll shut your mouth and be quite and keep the frustration for yourself. You have gone so far in giving so much of your time and effort only to be set aside for the kid’s sake. This meeting is such a beating to whatever pride you have left for yourself. You now have so much hate and frustration bottled up within you that each time you take a look at her child, you can’t help it but notice how much facial features the child has with his/her biological father. You also have this feeling that your the third-party or the saling-gitgit who desperately pushes himself into their lives. You then imagine that if this was a teleserye, then you must be the contrabida.
6.) You’re forced to turn a blind eye on things you find out about her
You’ve finally met her friends, family, and even her ex. You try to do some digging about her past by looking into their social media and you find out things about her that ultimately bothers you. It looks like shes been hiding a lot of things about her past. It brings you to question who’s even at fault on her break-up with the father of her child. You feel like it’s not fair that she’s got so many things to hide but you on the other hand has given so much of yourself just to make the relationship work. But since you love her, you turn a blind eye.
7.) You’re just a guardian, never the father
Both you and the child might have an affection with each other. Bonding with him/her will help your relationship become stronger. But the child might still feel some form of bereavement from his/her true father, and that is a void you can’t fill in. Because of this, you might feel that you are still not enough. Being unappreciated is one one of the stressful things people loathe.
8.) You can’t discipline her child
Since you’re not the father, this will be one of the most challenging tasks for you. Disciplining her child without looking like a total A-hole. You’re pretty much obligated to not show any signs of being displeased with her kid. Because if you do, that can put an end to your relationship. This will surely test your patience.
If you’re currently dating a single mom, please share in the comments some of your sentiments or similar experiences. Also share some tips and advises. We would love to hear from you.